Lungevity

When you’re living with a chronic or terminal illness, it can feel like you’re constantly being tested and always finding new ways to pick yourself back up again.

But perhaps there’s an advantage to that. You’re continually building your toolbox of self-care and emotional resilience, small but mighty habits that help you keep going when things fall apart.

After all, self-esteem isn’t built in one grand gesture. It’s built in the little moments you choose yourself again and again, even when life has stripped you bare.

For me, after a tumultuous 2024 — eight months of near-continuous hospitalisation — so much of my identity had been lost. I no longer knew who I was, what I stood for, or what I valued. My priorities shifted, as they often do when you come face-to-face with your own mortality.

But once I clawed my way out of that abyss of apathy, fear, and depression, I knew one thing for certain: I didn’t want to live small anymore.

Rebuilding a new self—with an alter ego

Egos get a bad rap, but sometimes they’re necessary.

My inspiration came from two unlikely sources: my cheeky little nephew… and the power of imagination.

Bear with me. One day, after a particularly mischievous moment (and, let’s just say, some unwanted saliva where he spat on me two days AFTER i’d be discharged from hospital😂), he tried to dodge accountability by blaming it on his “alter ego” — Lochie Thief.

Ridiculous? Maybe. But also — kind of genius.

It reminded me of how many artists and performers use alter egos to embody confidence. Think of Beyoncé’s Sasha Fierce or David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust. These personas help them step into their power, creativity, and purpose.

So I created my own: Anastacia.

Combined with numerology, this is my assigned, magical name. Is it woo,woo and bat sh*t crazy? Maybe. But I do it anyway! 

There are also many meditations that help me get into this frequency, and she’s the part of me that’s healthy, radiant, and full of life. The warrior version of me, unshaken by oxygen tubes or fatigue.

In one of my previous posts, I talk about enclothed cognition, which is powerful symbolism, and how you can give yourself a confidence boost with the way you dress and feel.

When I feel low, I visualise her. Sometimes I even dress differently—a bit more vibrant, a bit more “her”. It’s not about denial; it’s about embodiment. Because the brain doesn’t always distinguish between what’s imagined and what’s real.

And in those moments, Anastacia reminds me of who I really am beneath the illness: brave, creative, and whole.

Other unique ways to rebuild your self-esteem

1. Create a “Proof Folder.”
Each time someone says something kind about you whether it’s a compliment, a thank-you, a moment you helped someone – screenshot or write it down. When you’re in a flare or feeling low, read through it. It’s living proof that you matter and that your worth isn’t defined by your condition.

2. Host a “self-esteem date.”
Once a month (or week), dedicate a day (or even an hour) purely to celebrating yourself. It could be listening to a playlist that makes you feel fierce, painting your nails gold, or writing yourself a love letter. The goal? To nurture the relationship you have with you.

The me vs two years ago is vastly different now that I’ve invested in loving and accepting myself more, even with a chronic condition. (I somehow didn’t feel whole or loved enough with my health issues at the time). This has thankfully changed!

Rebuilding self-esteem after illness isn’t about pretending you’re okay. It’s about rediscovering the light within you that illness can’t take away.

It’s about learning to speak kindly to yourself, to celebrate your resilience, and to meet each scar with softness instead of shame.

Because even when your body feels fragile, your spirit can still stand tall.

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” — Maya Angelou

Keep rebuilding, keep reimagining, and most of all, keep remembering that you are so much more than what has happened to you.