As I write this, I’m on week 8 of a 12-week program at Roxburghe House in Aberdeen—a specialist centre that supports both chronically and terminally ill patients.
This program provides a safe and welcoming space where a small group of us can socialise over breakfast and lunch, take part in creative sessions like arts and crafts, and learn from a different guest speaker each week.
We also enjoy guided meditation, supported exercise, and even therapeutic services like back massages from the in-house nurse. It’s holistic care at its best.
*Digitally produced image of palliative care home
As you can imagine, I was apprehensive to begin with, being one of the younger patients. That was quickly dispelled as, latterly, in the end, it didn’t matter. I was able to reframe it and saw it as an opportunity to be with people who have so much wisdom, insight, whole lives, and stories to share. Their welcoming and friendly ways made it wonderful, meaningful, and fun!
There was a synchronicity too, meaning I ended up doing the program with my auntie’s neighbour, whom she’s known for 30 years! She’s suffering from cancer, but she’s one of the loudest, brightest, and most fantastic personalities I’ve ever met. And I’m in awe of her spirit.
It reminds me that, no matter what happens, if you’re experiencing severe illness or at a terminal stage, there is still nothing that can destroy your spirit.
What Palliative Care Really Means
Today’s talk was given by one of the nurses, who explained more about Roxburghe’s inpatient unit—where patients stay if they’re admitted for acute symptom management or chronic flare-ups. It was also a powerful moment to dispel a common myth: that palliative care is only for people at the end of life.
This is simply not true.
As Julia McFadden writes in her book Nothing to Fear—which I’ve included on my essential reading list—she captures the difference between hospice and palliative care perfectly:
“Hospice care and palliative care are closely related, but they’re not quite the same thing. Like hospice care, palliative care involves comfort-focused symptom management for people who have a serious illness. Unlike hospice care, it’s provided to patients who aren’t necessarily expected to die in the next six months. Palliative care patients can continue treatments for the disease if they want (for example, they can keep receiving chemo if they have cancer), whereas hospice patients stop treatment.”
Nothing to Fear, Julia McFadden
The nurse reiterated this: being in palliative care is not about giving up—it’s about support. Mental health, physical well-being, symptom relief, and emotional comfort are all part of the care. Seeing the facilities and hearing the explanations—it replaced fear with clarity. Gone is the doom-and-gloom narrative that “you go in and never come out.”
Talks That Matter, Activities That Heal
One of the most helpful parts of the program has been the range of guest speakers. We’ve heard from chaplains, pharmacists, psychologists, writers, and physiotherapists. Topics have included:
- Fatigue management
- Emotional regulation
- Medication management
- Spirituality and end-of-life reflection
Two of my favourite activities have been—surprise, surprise—writing, and arts and crafts.
For writing, we are encouraged to work on our life stories—a meaningful way to reflect on your journey and create a legacy for loved ones. It gave me the chance to revisit my childhood, rediscover my roots, and dig into family ancestry.
Why Genealogy Can Be Healing
In researching my family’s history, I uncovered powerful stories of resilience. Learning about my great-grandmother and grandparents—their struggles and how they rose again and again—it gave me strength to face my own challenges.
And even more special? I shared the journey with my mum and auntie. It brought us closer, made us laugh, and gave us the chance to be detectives in our own family story. It’s been a full-circle moment, and a way to honour those who came before us.
Genealogy is more than names and dates. It can:
- Foster a stronger sense of identity
- Improve emotional well-being.
- Deepen your understanding of cultural heritage and traditions
- Increase empathy for past and present generations
Creativity as Comfort
Tapping back into art has also been deeply healing. After a difficult year, it gave me a creative outlet to process complex emotions I couldn’t easily put into words. It’s helping me release some of the deep-seated trauma that sits inside of me.
As the Marie Curie website put it, art therapy can “help you when you’re lost for words.” A study in ScienceDirect also found in their own study that nearly all participants engaged in creative arts therapy found it meaningful—experiencing emotional, sensory, cognitive, and even spiritual relief.
Our Art at Roxburghe House
Art therapy has also been shown to reduce physical symptoms and pain. And no—you don’t need to be “good at art” to benefit. It’s open to everyone, regardless of skill level.
Palliative Care, a Gentle Yes
Overall, I’m a huge advocate for this kind of care. If you’re offered access to a program like this, say yes! And if it’s not mentioned to you, be your own advocate and don’t be afraid to ask.
Speak to your GP, nurse, therapist, or cancer support charity. There’s no harm in exploring what’s available. These services exist for a reason—and you deserve them.
You don’t have to do this alone.
You don’t have to wait until it’s “the end.”
You just have to begin.
Lungevity 