Healing begins with language and compassionate self-talk.
I’ve been interested in spirituality and psychology for a long time. However, the wellness space can ironically increase anxiety for some people, especially as technology and social media push us to behave or appear in specific ways.
Toxic positivity has also become a bugbear for many.
But I can assure you this is not that.
For so many years, I also thought I was in tune with myself, emotionally aware and aligned to my inner navigation, but really I think I was just placing demands on myself and not doing things from a place of genuine compassion.
What I’ve learned – and what I want to share – is the importance of authentic self-talk and using language as medicine.
And this isn’t about citing affirmations all day long or avoiding negative emotions, but rather recognising when it happens and using inner child parenting to cultivate a sense of safety and love for your body.
When that happens, you’re saying things like:
“I’m overwhelmed, but I’m finding my way.”
“I’m healing from more than what most people know.”
“I’ve made mistakes. but I’m learning to respond differently.”
You can’t bully yourself into being better. It’s with a much softer tone, where you’re willing to be kind and not forcing things.
I remember blaming and shaming myself, even years after my diagnosis.
Each time I ended up in hospital with a COPD flare-up, I’d wonder if I was doing enough to keep healthy, questioning my routines and lifestyle.
Many times, my own psychologist would remind me how harsh I was being on myself in times where I thought I wasn’t doing enough to get better or where she noticed the frustration I’d feel with my own limitations.
It’s the tale of someone living with a chronic illness – it can be very draining physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
Now I adopt a more loving approach and find an inner tone that soothes instead of scolds.
Healing happens in the presence of safety and it’s how you speak to yourself when you’re hurting.
It’s not a shouty, cheerleader energy but more of a mothering, nurturing tone.
None of this is to say it’ll be the cure or give you ultimate healing.
But it’s the biological nourishment the body needs, reducing stress and returning to regulation, balance and equilibrium.
Your cells are always listening and the language you choose becomes the atmosphere of your cells – biology listens to repetition.
It shapes posture, breath and cellular memory.
There are top biological and neurological scientists as well as key spiritual leaders who support this and speak at great length in their books, classes and courses on this subject.
From Joe Dispenza to Bruce Lipton and Louise Hay, you’ll find a lot of inspiration.
Just remember to go beyond citing baseline mantras and affirmations. Make it specific as well as compassionate. Doing this work in critical times can be really tough or when you’re severely depressed – trust me, I know.
But if you’re going to get out of it, if there’s a way you can summon the gift of compassion to yourself, then do it.
It can help you with your immune system, time to recover, energy levels and more. It’s worth the investment in yourself to be very mindful of your inner self-talk.
It’s your path to emotional healing and dealing with unresolved pain, It may be quick or it may take months. But all that matters is you being able to cultivate the patience and unconditional love for yourself.
I’ve included some self-compassion affirmation cards I created for a friend who has cancer and terminally ill. I printed them, laminated them and cut them out so she can carry them with her or have them when she’s feeling low. She really likes them and uses them to help her out.
You can download them here.
Lungevity 